Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Funny- "Butt naked on the front lawn"


Every night around 8pm I water my lawn, but tonight it became different. Due to it being bedtime and my wife being preoccupied, I held Numba Two in my arm. No matter what I do, I normally like to quietly work... it allows me to think... and I as was watering the lawn, there was Numba One, five mins before her bedtime, streaking... butt naked on the front lawn yelling "Poopie, Daddy! Poopie!" And for a moment, I stood watering the lawn, with an infant in one hand, a hose in the other and all the silence gone.

When I was still in high school, Oprah and many of her doctor friends were always welcome in the home by my mother. Now its not like our family knew them personally, it's just TV made us feel like we did. On one episode of Oprah, I remember Dr. Phil McGraw standing in front of an audience while he discussed parenting and how to properly react to bad situations. In one "situational" question Dr. Phil described how he would act if a child wrote on his wall at home, he stated that first and foremost he would first look at the drawing, compliment the child and then explain to the child where they could and could not draw, but putting a heavy focus on complimenting the child. In my head I immediately called BS! With obvious teenage motive I explained to my mom that maybe if she was more accepting like Phil, we would have less problems and more great moments...  she just looked at me and said 'One day, you too will have a child... and you'll understand"...(Man, would I grow to regret that statement, mine not hers. Hers I would resent and later respect...)

But here's the thing that I'm learning, much like my mother taught me, it's so easy to judge, but like Phil said, it's also important to appreciate the situation. What I never realized is that my mother appreciated my actions more than I would ever know... She might not have shown appreciation for the drawing on the wall, but the way my mother took the time to take care of me and worry about me was the greatest sign of her appreciation and love for me.

You see everyday I find myself choosing to laugh or choosing to cry... and more often than not, it's to laugh... Why? Because as my mother taught me and as I've come to learn that most things are not worth the level of sadness that we give it. Over the past 2 years I have had 8 friends or family members who have passed away before turning 40 years of age... and with the example of each life lived, I see an interesting fact... we can choose to resent and judge or appreciate the situation we find ourselves in and recognize that that situation may never happen again...

So what does this have to do with a naked two year old running around butt naked in the front yard while I water my grass? Simple... everything... You see every night, I go out and water the lawn, but never do I just get to stand holding Numba Two (the infant) and more often than that does my other daughter, Numba One, come out with nothing but a glow in the dark complexion and run around in circles yelling "Poopie, Daddy! Poopie!" I'm not embarrassed... although truth be told... I was a little annoyed... So... as I stood there, with an infant in the one hand and a hose in the other I contemplated my options and realized that when life gives you lemons, you grab the hose, turn it to jet and you g give it a wet butt! I mean she was butt naked... what did I have lose? Nothing. But I had a new memory to gain. She ran as Numba Two and I sprayed her back into the home. She laughed, I laughed, Numba Two babbled and Numba One's backside became soaked.

The point is this, we came to this world to live! Not die... to act, not react... and every moment we live angry is a moment we waste (not saying anger is bad, I'm just saying that it should be invested carefully and rarely)... we only have so much time before the water in the hose runs out... so before it does... what will you do with it? Just remember this... next time life gives you lemons... give it a wet butt!!!

-Somebody's Father-

Disclamer- No children's bums where harmed in the making of this post.





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